WTF? Who is this chick? W-T-F is she babbling about? Do I really care? Well, actually, there times when I'm in between red carpet events, or not busy giving world leaders advice, or simply pondering whether I should really show up at the Nobel Prize convention to accept my several awards, when I think, "just what IS a Toni Basil?" A Toni Basil is one of those things that crosses your mind when you think the rest of the world is absolute shit and couldn't give a crap whether you got that Nobel Peace Prize or not. Kofi Annan once told me, "DUDE- you gotta let Toni Basil go. She's a total slut and those retarded pom-pom-toting antics of hers are just SO passe."
Anyway I guess there's a point to all her video's tom-foolery: to promote the song. And it does so. Not so nicely, but it does so. Um. Please watch this video. I mean, sure she's a bitch and all, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
This Band Blows
It seems more and more I'm reviewing these vids which leave me speechless. This is definitely one of them. I just can't figure out why people would actually sit around and come to an agreement that this is even a semi-decent video. There's so much goofiness going on it's ridiculous. It's definitely one of the most retarded trashfan vids. There were so many stupid looking screenshots I had to leave out, so I decided to choose three.
There's the flying nun, the guy with rollerskates falling, the guy frantically eating spaghetti... the list just goes on and on and I can't understand why they chose to use any of it! What does any of this have to do with the song??? Frankly, I think they're just totally clueless.
And, the song... I dunno, it's ok. I definitely like the bass line and the way the drums work with it is pretty nice. It's also got a nice clean 80s sound to it. Other than that, it's just ok. It's not like I would listen to it when there's anybody else around.
Duh... Kommissar's In Town...
WTF is up with this? Don't you just flippin LOVE, or possibly HATE the way the vid starts out. It's like COME ON, dude, PLEASE get a life. Unfortunately, the dude died in 1998 (!), so he really can't. I just can't understand why he felt the need to be so retarded in this vid. It's obviously a cry for help. Professional help.
The song is just so uber-catchy. That's not necessarily a good or bad thing, it just means it can be very annoying at times. I was sure there was a English version to it, but then again I start to wonder- do I really care? No. I have to say that while the chorus is fun, the rest of the song is just SO BLAH. It's like "blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah.... duh kommissar's in town- whoa oh OH..." But I will admit to attempting to do the Roger Rabbit to it. We're all human... at least I am, not sure about this freak.
<Singing> I'm Her Obsession, She's A Slut
How retarded are these people, really? Like, what are they trying to accomplish here? SERIOUSLY!!! They can't be for real, this must be a joke, a 80's parody or spoof. Who ever heard of ANIMOTION anyway!?!!? Don't you just hate all the smug looks? Sadly, it's not a spoof, as I remember this song from my childhood. Back then, I guess I thought it had a nice sound, but let's face it even a 5 year old can smell cheese, and this reeks.
I think the girl is trying to get our attention- what's that she's babbling about? "Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly, I will collect you, and capture you." Is THAT what butterflies do? I mean I don't honestly know but I thought they had better things to do then making trouble with cocky, sport-jacket-wearing yuppies. That could be the most retarded lyric ever- oh wait- it's about HER collecting the butterfly. Oh ok. Well it's still dumb.
The ratings for this song and video: sorry, I had to give up, it's too ridiculous for anyone to judge. And, HEY HEY- DON'T go write on the vid's comment page on YouTube that it's your freakin' favorite song or whatever, or that there's some kind of hidden message within all of that "ass-making-of themselvesery"- I will completely disown you! ALL of you!!!
D- d- d- d- d- dom- d- d- d- dom- dom- dom- Dominatrix Dominatrix. Dominatrix. Sorry, I just like how this vid starts off- it's pretty trippy, and VERY VERY 80s. Not to mention trashy. VERY VERY trashy. I also like the little tinkling melody from the synths, it's kinda cute. A strange thing for a video that's about S&M, but somehow it works.
I wonder if any of you have ever heard of this song, this band or this Dominatrix??? I sure haven't. I couldn't even find any info about the band. Maybe it's cause they're German? I don't know. I like that point where at the garage the sign says "Ball joints - End repairs" I can't help thinking that was put there on purpose. This chick looks like she's about to eat that mechanic alive with a knife and fork.
Wait- no way- that blond hair was just a wig??? LOL "Women beat their men... animals watch beyond the fire..." LOL let's just hope the animals keep their distance, otherwise it's a whole other genre of porn we're talking about. I really like the end where the melodies become disconnected- that's really cool- a GREAT ending to a fantastic vid.
It's Not Just *A* Madonna, It's *THE* Madonna!!!
I like how in the second pic she looks both like a blowup doll AND a howler monkey at the same exact time. Incredible. When people say she's versatile- that's what they're talking about. Howler monkey/blow-up doll. Um. What else do I wanna say about this video? Not much. Thank you.
The song is SO classic 80s. I remember when it first came out I thought that as well. It was as big a sign of the times as Back To The Future or Dr. Ruth. It's very well written; it's a really good song I think, despite the fact that her voice was really strange, but then it still is today too.
The Riddle Is: Who Is He?
I'll let you fill in the blanks. This video is stupid because ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________, and ________.
DUDE- What's with the hair- is it really neccessary? That's just another riddle that I'm more curious about than the actual message of the song.
The song is very 80s-mysterious and by that I mean it's about as mysterious as a cooking show. Are those Mickey Mouse gloves trying to give the finger to the statue of Buddha or what?? This guy's not really trying to bring any kind of deep meaning forward, it's just the attempt at appearing to be deep which really, well, basically, just pisses me off. By the end of the video we see that he's just .5" tall and lives in a fucked up little room which the Riddler can put in his handbag. If there was any attempt at a deep meaning, this part seriously squelched it. Sorry, Nik Pshaw fans.
Pink Bubble Gum Pop-Flop
I didn't actually want to review this vid. I mean how can I? I know her father is Nat King Cole, and she's got a great voice and all, but this is pure bubble gum pop, it's just a little too bland and lame. It appears like she's just trying to ride that Michael/Janet Jackson kind of vibe to get a hit and make money. The lyrics, while they may have appealed to the masses in the 80s, just don't speak to me at all, and I find it difficult to believe it would appeal to a large amount of people. Who really cares about a pink cadillac? If any of you FREAKS actually like this vid... please come back soon! :)
Apparently, it was written by Bruce Springsteen, but that doesn't make it too much better for me either.
And WHAT does Debbie Gibson think she's doing pulling that pose while she's pushing a car??? It's like DAMN, bitch, mind doing some WORK??? Cars don't move by themselves ya know. Oh whatever you know what I mean.
*THIS VIDEO IS WAY DOWNLOADABLE!*
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