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Sylvester - Do You Wanna Funk?

Video- *
Song- *

Look- Even HE Wants It To Stop!

I think the simple answer to this question is: "Ummm- NO!" Every time I see this vid it's like- DUDE- WHAT are you DOING!?!?!? Apparently somebody forgot to tell him that disco was dead, and that he was never gonna get away with trying to impersonate Aretha Franklin. The song is full of effects and trashy 80s sounds. This thing with the mic can't sing and the chorus is sorta catchy but it's hard to believe ANYBODY would dance to this. I guess that's why the video producers felt the need to include the audience. They were probably actually at a U2 concert.
The "director of cinematography" isn't exactly doing a great job here either. I mean it's almost halfway through the performance that the spotlight actually shows up on the... person... thing... whatever IT is. He's giving the impression he's male but that limp wrist the whole time makes me wonder. Of course, he might be... oh I dunno.... GAY?!? Nah- that's just crazy talk.

Tiffany - I Think We're Alone Now

Video- ****
Song- ***.25

No Tiffany, I Think YOU'RE Alone Now- SEE YA!

I believe Tiffany recently performed in the U.K. on a show called "Hit Me Baby One More Time" where these old "pop stars" performed their (usually) one hit and then attempted to sing a more current song. The latter usually came across as lame as a bad joke. Apparently she was also recently on Celebrity Fit Club as well. This song, I dunno- it's an old classic song, so I guess that's why it seems to hold my interest, but the instrumentation, ESPECIALLY during the synthesizer solo in the bridge, makes it seem a little too cheap.
I feel that any music video that needs to show the viewer just how many excited people there are in the audience is desperately trying to say "Look! THESE people love her! You should too! In fact, you should really get off the couch and jump around and wave your arms just like these wonderful peeps do!" Check out her dance moves too- she sure knows how to make it seem like she's about to kick the bucket.
I love how the fact that it's done in a mall is both admirable for not being TOO flashy, but also laughable cause that's probably the only place where she's gonna get a big crowd- I'm just looking for some grey hair in the crowd right now... well, there's a little. And then you gotta love the random shot of her with Gumby- WHY don't they do shots like that these days?

The Bangles - Walk Like An Egyptian

Video- *****
Song- ****

Fly Like An Egyptian, Sting Like A Bangle!!!

OK OK so it's a popular video- we all know that. They must have played it at least 5,000 times on MTV by 1989. Of course, it's a girl band from the 80s and we all know what that means- SLUTS that can just barely manage to make music. There is some worth to this vid, I will admit, I especially like the whistling-break- it's very unique. But it became such a large hit and a staple of 80s music that it makes me wanna put it in the category of "Just Plain Trash"- I feel like it deserves that. I mean look at the way that one chick flirts with the microphone. Now THAT'S trashy.
The song is nice, catchy, I'm sure that if you're into 80s stuff you'd probably like it a lot- as I said it was a huge hit. It's just a little... I dunno... too commercial... ya know? Like you know they cashed in on it big time, and then made even more money by having the song on a number of "Greatest Hits" albums. I could be wrong, but at least that's how it comes across.

Freeez - I.O.U.

Video- *****
Song- *****

A Kindergarden Lesson In 80s Goofiness

How come I never saw this video growing up in the 80s??? Maybe it's just too obscure, too European and not quite commercial enough? But I love it. I wouldn't say it's trashy. Trashy is about being shocking or at least attention-grabbing. But other than the horrible fashion choices, there's nothing that's shocking, just entertaining. There's something about the confidence of this video which makes up for the goofiness. You gotta love the face that kid makes at the end of the vid... well, then again, you don't have to. And... is the guy singing (terribly, btw) the same one from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure???
The song is SO 80s it's like it fell out of a time capsule or something. Like fresh out of MTV's hot video oven. Except I don't think they showed it on MTV, maybe they thought it belonged on Sesame Street? Just like the video, the song has this confidence in what it is- it really delves in 80s-ness with no shame. Here is a remix by DJ Spyder, and another which is remixed with Madonna's "Get Into The Groove". By the way, the band actually has 3 E's in its name. Not like anyone cares.