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Kool & The Gang - Fresh

Video- *.5
Song- *****

Looks A Bit Moldy To Me

This song is one of my all-time favorite songs from the 80s. I hadn't heard it in years when I found it a few months ago, and when I did, it was great to have that deja-vu feeling. It's the kind of song that in some way it makes you feel like you're in a dream, and I really like that quailty.
The video receives one and a half stars, and that's star meaning zero, and half a star for pure laughability factor. Otherwise I think it's one of the worst videos ever made.
It's some sort of futuristic place or another planet where these guys are having their gig. The first few times watching this, I just saw parts at a time, didn't get the Cinderella reference, and as you can imagine, I had no clue whatsoever what was going on. The part where Cinderella's dress gets torn off and she does a few squats was particularly confusing as well as just plain disturbing.
The vid is done in such a half-assed way it's almost like the director was on vacation the entire time it was being produced. Great song, too bad they messed up the video completely.
Here's their other vid, Celebration.

Madonna - Live To Tell

Video- ***.5
Song- ***.75

She Knows Where Beauty Lives- It's Just That Beauty Won't Answer The Door!

This song is quite unusual for an 80's song. Of course, it has the typical synthetic, clean sounds, but it's much slower and has a kind of quality that keeps you listening. I'm usually not really into slow songs, but this one seems very sensitively written and with a lot of thought to it. When she sings "I know were beauty lives" the song really starts to drive it home. There are better songs out there, for sure, and I'm not always in the mood for this one, but it's still a good song, and was a breakaway point for Madonna from her earlier, more Pop-oriented material. At this point, she had received a substantial amount of criticism for her work, so she was trying to prove to everyone that she was really serious about her career with this song. It's the first time Madonna ever changed her image and people could see her in a different way than her "Material Girl" or "Like A Virgin" persona.
Ok, so her hair looks like crap and who knows what the hell she's wearing, but it's still... oh whatever, she looks like crap.
The video is just clips from the movie, "At Close Range", which I've never seen, starring her then husband at the time, Sean Penn, Christopher Walken and Mary Stuart Masterson. From the reviews on imdb, it appears to be a good movie. But despite the clips, we do get a sense that the video is a kind of story of its own and does proper justice to the song. Unlike (ahem) the Footloose video (yuck).

Kenny Loggins - Footloose

Video- *
Song- *

I'm Starting To Hate This Job

No, it's not really that bad, I don't want to quit or anything, but really, this video is JUST PLAIN C. R. A. P. ! ! ! What else can I say really? It's only a sloppy hodgepodge of scenes from the movie. Does anybody really care about Kevin Bacon shaking his ass? He's not even known as a dancer anymore. Who the hell is Kenny Loggins? I mean besides being the guy that came up with the Caddyshack soundtrack. This entire production comes about second place on the worst-videos-on-my-site scale. The only other contender for worst video (and admittedly, the winner) is Bananarama's "I Want You Back".
The song is just like whatever for me- even when I was 6 (when it came out) I always thought it was just like totally mediocre and absolutely nothing more. It's featured in Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion where Lisa Kudrow sings along to it and basically makes fun of it which is pretty funny. "Everybody cut everybody cut- EVERYBODY CUT FOOTLOOSE!!!!" :P

Falco - Rock Me Amadeus

Video- *.5
Song- **

I GIVE UP- Just Play The Frickin' Video!!!

Possibly the cheesiest song ever. What else can you say really? I always thought there was an English version of this- maybe there is, but this is obviously the German version. What is the message of the song, really, when all you here is "Zien frau en mau ent zuperztar en excitetiert en come on and rock me Amadeus"??? The chorus itself is especially ridiculous. Just "Amadeus" repeated OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER. It's sickening. I must say that it is fun as hell, though, and I like listening to it when I'm in a mood for absolute crap. Obviously it's just about how Mozart would be diggin' this kind of music if he were alive now (not an easy claim to make AT ALL, btw), and how good music is timeless, and that part I agree with. But this freak must have SOME ego to think he's on the same level as Mozart- who the HELL is FALCO?!?!??!
The video is obviously just a trashfest. Anything else to say, really??? I mean, really- do I really need to prove to ANYONE that this is anything more than trash?!?! Cool hair, though. And the people singing near the end- do they REALLY need to look at the lyrics sheet?

Janet Jackson - Nasty

Video- *****
Song- *****

It Sells Itself... Or Maybe... SHE Sells HERSELF???

Janet Jackson is one of the best artists of the past 20 years, and she's been highly successful for nearly all 20 of those years. Apparently, her first two albums were disappointing in sales, but she was so determined that she persisted in making a third, Control, which became a huge international hit. It also marked a personality upgrade in her to becoming somebody who was strong and independent from her overpowering family.
This song is great. Sure it's trashy, but it's got everything a good song has and more. It's got a clean, slick sound to it and PLENTY of groove. The song is proof that things can be trashy AND good.
As always in a Janet Jackson video, the choreography is energetic and stylish. The video has a great progression to it, always keeping your eyes entertained. Then there's the girls singing in a kind of snobby way in the audience (one is Paula Abdul, who choreographed the vid) which is a funny little interlude. The part near the end with the guys in trenchcoats is hilarious. This is a real treat of a video, always fun to watch anywhere, like at church, or in libraries or retirement homes.