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Shalamar - A Night To Remember

Video- ****.75
Song- ****.75

They'll Remember The Bartender

I didn't know this song until last year or so but I think it's a really good one. It sounds just as good as it would have back then. I'm listening to it two times in a row and it's pretty darn good. Typical 80s Soul, not a hugely popular band, I think, but I like that. They're not tainted by stardom and they are just a plain good band. It's got a good driving bass and a steady beat, and the vocals really make you want to sing along. It's nice to have men and women singing together without being such an obvious duet. This feels more like a band than a duet. Maybe because of the third wheel. Ahem.
The one guy, the one on the date, looks a bit like he was in that Soul Glow commercial in "Coming To America". The video has a kind of classy feel to it but it's also got a homemade-human touch. Storytelling but also creative. Don't know why it's just the feeling I get. Kinda kinky that they all get in bed- is that why it's gonna be a night to remember? Cause of that scrawny bartender that gets in bed with them? Sick.

Starship - We Built This City

Video- **
Song- *

Bring On The Cheese

That guitarist on the left, in blue- at first I thought he was a woman in a business suit. Everybody in the video is a cheesemeister. The whole thing is ridiculous. What are they on, anyway? It's an ultra catchy song but is that what we like? There truly is something deranged about this video. The whole thing is like a disaster area but it's difficult to pinpoint the main problem. Who are these people anyway? They built what city, Hicksville? They couldn't build a city if they were playing SimCity. Look at their hair- you wouldn't trust them to watch your cheese get moldy let alone build a whole city. I think there's a message hidden deep within the hair (maybe it's "If you wear too much makeup, you'll turn out like this") but it only surfaces as wanting to Mamba on a city of rock and roll. Got it? Me, no.

Phil Collins & Phillip Bailey - Easy Lover

Video- *
Song- ****

The Helicopter Is Just Fluff

I always thought this song was really dynamic and full of vitality. Back then it also had a certain dark quality (maybe all the cold reverb and echo work). It's almost like an unintentional Gothic aspect which kinda scared me (in the way the movie Labyrinth scared you). Still the dark quality, even though not scary at all to me anymore, is still there and it just gives this ordinary pop song a unique quality. This is one of the best of the 80s and a best for Phil Collins, no doubt.
The video, on the other hand, is just a waste of time in my opinion and it cheapens the song almost beyond belief. In fact, the video is the reason the song gets four stars instead of five. Ok, they're on the stage singing, but why the need for the helicopter? It's just showing off for no reason, and normally that's fine, but it's not that interesting- it's only a helicopter- why not just watch Miami Vice? Philip Bailey (from Earth Wind & Fire) shouldn't have worn the all leather get up. That's Eddie Murphy's thing- on him it's red and it's great, but I think this is lame. Plus who knows what Mr. P. Collins was thinking about with that potato sack-looking sweater. Ok, it's blue not brown but he still looks like a frumpy old Mr. Rogers type, about to sit with the pipe and an old copy of Moby Dick next to the fire. I H-A-T-E the way they took out the original vocals and put in the ones from the video- it's hideous!
They should have made it a bit more (sorry to say this, but) Michael Jackson's style, with a bit of serious attitude instead of just goofing off. It's just not the right song for that. The whole thing about it is it sounds clean and a bit cold (metallic) and putting in the extra audio just messes it up. Then when they drop the mic's and Collins starts doing that wiggle dance I just feel a bit embarassed for the entire human race.

George Benson - Turn Your Love Around

Video- ***
Song- ****.5

Burn Another Clown

For me this song brings back memories of good times, just hangin' out, going out for a hamburger, shopping at the mall- bourgeois-type stuff. It's not trying to be too cool, it's just a plain good pop song. The piano has got that special twang typical of Soul. The horns are cheesy but so addictive, and the guitar, bass and drum just pull you in more. Sometimes people don't always appreciate a good thing, and this is one of those songs that people overlook simply because it's good. It doesn't stand out like Madonna's or Michael Jackson's songs. Just because it sounds like a mediocre song to them doesn't mean it is.
George looks kinda smug in this video, no not kinda smug, he looks SO smug. You can tell he's kind of fantasizing while he sings, he's thinking "Ooh child! ALL the girls want me. I am SO good. Me and my big face deserve to be the central concept for the ENTIRE video- uh huh, that's how good I am."
In my version there's this weird little part just before the end where you hear him telling the production team something like, "Now you got me dancing in this one." to which they seem to reply "It's not our fault!" It's pretty odd, and not clear at all whether it was intentional to include this. Probably so, but it is kinda interesting.

Ashford & Simpson – Solid

Video- ***.75

Song- *****

AKA The Shoulder Pad Club

I always liked this song, now and when it originally came out. It is very much like its title, just a simple, but very solid track. I actually think the title and lyrics are not only about the relationship, but also about the track itself, being solid and that they “build it up” (the excitement). So does this lady often spend time looking for guys in the park? We have names for women like that where I come from- Disneyland, that is. They kinda look like they got their clothes from JCPenny, which isn’t a good thing when you’re a “celebrity.” Can you say shoulder pads? They’re very big in this part of the park. Why do those guys come in and start to hum- what is this a gangbang? Of course they have the token white guy or two, doing their best to look hip but actually look like big dorks. The bass line makes you want to tap your foot to the rhythm and it’s really catchy, especially if you’re into soul. The almost pizzicato-like rhythm really propels the song forward. This is an old songwriting duo who write for other artists and this is a great example of one of their songs.

Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing

Video- ***.75
Song- *****

You Better Hope He's NOT Gay

The black girl at the beginning is kinda scary. Looks a little like Arsenio Hall in drag. Then for a second we are led to believe the white girl is Marvin Gaye, when the singing comes in.
There’s something about this song which is kind of ungraspable- like you just can’t quite grasp it. It’s something about the rhythm or the bass or maybe both that is very very groovy but really hard for me to understand exactly what’s going on there. This kind of rhythm and bass is very unique and I don’t know if I’ve heard anything like it in other songs. It seems to almost have a style of its own as much as reggae is different from R&B. For that it’s a real classic- hard to imagine someone not liking it after a few good listens.
For me the video doesn't have enough going on. Nice but a bit dull. Oooh, baby, he’s so hot this big black guy- can you feel it, honey, he’s comin’ after you baby- watch out! Yeah, it is kinda scary if you’re the type that doesn’t want to get raped by somebody like him, but it’s Marvin Gaye- he’s one of the few who could pull this off- so to speak. Oooh, yeah, cause you do it right!

McFadden & Whitehead – Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now

Video- **.5

Song- ***.75

Who Likes Geeks Dancing?

It may not be completely in the 80s but it’s very close, the end of ’79. Gotta love the white chicks (or in this case chubby old hens) singing. Why is it that white lead singers gotta have black girls, while black singers gotta have white ones? Goin’ for that racial utopia vibe I guess. Tokenism and so forth?
If you can call the lead singers’ dancing entertaining, then… good for you. But what else does this video really have? At first we see the hens who are embarrassingly funny enough, but after that we just see these two geeks jumping around, and the design behind them kinda looks like a giant heart as if they were in love. You think it’s gonna go back to the ladies, but no- fine, be that way.
The song is a nice disco tune. Catchy, to-the-point grooviness with a bit of an edge, what’s not to like, except that it may be a bit repetitive getting into the end. Still it’s got a real progressive bass, it’s uplifting and the lyrics are kinda inspirational.

Flock Of Seagulls – Photograph Of You

Video- ***.5

Song- ****

Alien Meets Bozo The Clown

Why are the band members welding with ski goggles? They’re confused. Kinda makes them look like idiots- but hey, if that’s the look they’re going for… This is obviously an ultra-modern hairstyling academy in New Jersey. The name of the band, Flock Of Seagulls, is reminiscent of the hairdo’s of the band, which are not unlike a mass of birds all stuck (perhaps welded?) together.
Aside from the Star Trekism and weirdness, the song is pretty good. Who knows what this photograph fetish is really all about, but I think it’s called the snare drum, which is really great in this track- less like a drum and more like banging a pipe. The drummer, shown about 3/4 of the way, has the hardest job, playing the steady two-note beat as if he were a human metronome. New-wave 80s, it’s a kinda futuristic video and song, and it’s pretty catchy near the end with the droning guitar.

Cyndi Lauper – Time After Time

Video- *.5

Song- *****

Could Use A Director

It’s nice to see a “rock star” watching TV so enthusiastically. I just think it’s a good thing. Art about appreciating art. In the movie “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion” this song really just hits that warm spot inside and helps to end the film on such a kind, loving note. It is truly a classic song which will surely survive for eons, probably as long as the human race does. It’s really something special.
The video is hectic though, and not in a good way like "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun". We start off with the flashback (already a little too complicated a plot in a mere 4 minute video) then just because she got a punk haircut her bf stomps off like a caveman. Yeah, a real heart-clenching dilemma, right? I’ve seen more conflict in a Brady Bunch episode. The whole thing is just kinda patchy with the ghost of her mother, the part with her mother in real life and the extremely dodgy blond wig. The wig makes the punk hairdo look like her natural hair color. Maybe I just couldn’t care less, but the plot is too complicated to figure out and the scenes look kinda immature if you compare them to videos done today with a similar story/plot. Because there’s no dialogue it needs to be more simple and clear otherwise we don’t get the gist of where the relationship of the characters is going.

Imagination – Body Talk

Video- ****
Song- ***.5

Does Your Body Talk In Crowded Elevators?

So apparently this video is about these three African-Egyptians who have a harem whenever they unroll their carpet. Although, at first I thought the carpet was meant to represent something else… Hey look, they’re walking on the piano keys- get it? It’s a visual-musical reference and an ok joke which is just sorta funny. With a title like “Body Talk”, I always thought the subject matter of the song was flatulence, but that’s just my interpretation. Hey- what’s Serena Williams doing in this old 80s video? And who knew her voice was so masculine? No words are spoken, the only sound we hear is a guy with beads in his hair attempting to “talk with his body.” You can tell they spent a lot this video- I wonder if they filmed it in their grandma’s living room?